Thursday, October 21, 2010

Marking Territory

I was walking today, and saw two bikes riding towards each other.  The first thing I thought of, like any sane human being, was: what would it be like if they were jousting.  Think about it: two people on bikes, there feet pedaling madly, one hand on the steering wheel, the other desperately trying to keep the over-sized pole from touching  the ground (which, of course, would vault them into oblivion).  Suddenly, they connect.  One, hit by the jousting rod, goes flying.  The other, thrown off balance by the sudden force of the blow, runs into a wall.  Whomever can get up first and beat the other with a club wins.  Think about it: this would be a great way for people to solve territorial disputes.  Much better than what people do at college...
I'm sitting in my room, and suddenly, I hear it from down the hall.  The silence is broken by a loud, male, yell.  It is followed by another yell by another male.  They aren't saying anything in particular, just yelling nonsensical babble at each other.  However, it's easy to translate: My territory.  My territory.  My territory.  Honestly, 200000 years ago they would have been peeing on each other.  Which, of course, is why, in jousting, most of the guys would choose as long a pole as possible (to refer to another "pole" they wish was that long).  Mean while, the girls would choose a more sensibly sized pole...
One final point: you know, peeing on someone isn't exactly a crime (at least, there's no mention against it in my college handbook).  It's more of a... frowned upon thing.  So, next time you see two guys screaming at each other, show that you're dominant and pee on them.  It will shut them up, and show them who is boss.

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